Irrefutable Proof

I wasn't going to blog this story, but I've been waiting for Jeremy to upload new pictures so I could blog something and still waiting, so . . . here's a story without pictures.
A few weeks ago we were all riding in the car, not going anywhere far. I think we were headed to Target or home from some other errands. Suddenly Ernie yells "Le-NORA!"
"What?!" she says.
"Mom, Lenora farted, and it's really bad!"
We have to do this a lot. It's my job to take care of it if someone else farts.
"Lenora," I say kindly, "please say 'excuse me'."
"I didn't part, Momma!" said the innocent little girl. She mispronounced "fart" as "part." It's really cute.
"Lenny, you just have to say excuse me. Do you have to go to the bathroom?" I'm trying to be really nice but also trying to see how much time we have before we need to be home.
"But I didn't part, Momma. It was Ernie." she insists.
That's plausible. "Ernie, do you need to say 'excuse me?'" I ask.
"NO! It's really stinky and I DIDN'T DO IT!" he yells.
Well, that's a lot of rage and insistence for someone who is innocent. But I have to agree with him, this sucker is stinky. Whoever did this needs a restroom soon. So I do what many parents do in such situations to sniff out a lie. I create one myself and see if it scares them enough to come clean.
"You know what happens if you lie about farting? Your hair starts to fall out. Lenny, you love to wear pony tails, right? If you keep lying about farts you won't have enough hair for pony tails. And Ernie, boys who blame their sisters for their own farts also loose their hair." Innocent enough. Everyone looses lots of hair everyday and everyone also lies about farting, or fails to report at  least. How do I know those two are not connected?
Suddenly, Ernie realizes who is to blame for all of our victimization: "DADDY DID IT! Daddy has the least hair of anybody and the stinkiest farts and he NEVER tells the truth about it!"
Sure enough, Jeremy finally starts laughing. Once he's laughing about a fart that smelly, he's past the denial stage. And now we have proof that my theory is true.
Never, ever, lie about farting or you will go bald.